Reply To: Shidduch �Crisis�, Daas Torah and Hishtadlos

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#634667
yehudaj
Member

This article looks familiar, oh wait that is because I wrote it.

After reading many of these comments I see that the main point failed to come across to some people.

Consulting people you trust for opinions is a great idea but

advice is only that – no Rabbi (or parent or friend or teacher) should tell you who or who not to marry (unless their reasons are halacha/hashkafa based). No Rabbi/Parent/Friend/Teacher will be living in your marriage for you – thats YOU.

I would take the exact opposite opinion, the only person who does NOT know who the right person to marry, may very well be YOU! considering negiyas, pressures, silly hakpadas that make no sense. I heard a story where a guy wanted to call it all off because when he asked the girl what animal she would be like she said a horse, and he decided that a horse is too masculine, laugh, think that the guy is from a different planet, but he is not alone, “normal” people can make ridiculous decisions have the most out-there-I-Can’t-believe-that’s-what-he-is-looking-for shtussim, another guy only wanted a girl with wavy hair! yes if you asked daas torah they would kindly tell you to see a shrink before entering shidduchim again, but the issue lies when people don’t ask, and they think they know what they want when they can’t be further from the truth. And who are you getting advice from your best friend who also happens to be in her late twenties not married?. Don’t short change Daas Torah, it must dictate EVERY aspect of your life. I heard about Rav Henoch Lebowitz ZT”L that he once came to shiur shaking his head I told him not to, why didn’t he listen?” his talmidim asked what hes was referring to, and he said that he warned a baal habos that chazal says a third of your money in karka a third in liquid, (and i forgot the other third, Rav Lebowitz didnt i cant seem to recall it I’m sure someone will let me know :-)) and he didn’t listen and he lost it all! There is nothing we should shy down from asking Daas Torah about, and kal vchomer such a critical topic as is shiduchim!