Nowdays in shidduchim it is very important to have a few things in mind:
1. Get your name out there if you have any relatives or family friends that have boys may know of boys from work or a Yeshiva.. let them know that you are looking for a shidduch.
2.Every Person needs to find a quality person. By quality I am refering to middos and Yaraei Shmayim, and Tznius.Quality does not refer to money, yichus, laces,tableclothes, ketchup on Shabbos ect.. or any of the other ridiculous quuestions that I get asked.Which people seem to think are what makes up a quality people.There are plenty of people that look all frum and have gone to the best yeshivos and Bais Yaakovs but are not really to frum and are involved in/with things that you dont want to be -vhameivin yavin
3.The most important thing of all:Someone gave me this piece of advice:
Do not let the Yetzer Hora get to you!Don’t let the Yetzer Hora bring you down.Try to think positivley and surround your self with positive thinking people.
4. Daven and don’t stop .This time period I have come much closer to Hashem.My Davening has a diffrent meaning now.
There is a shidduch crisis/mess whatever you want to call it.You can pretend it doesn’t exsist by burying your head in the sand.I have lots of friends that have been out of seminary from anywhere to 3-6 years and have never had a date they sit there waiting for the phone to ring, and they done plenty hishtadlus.However they are not “good enough”,”rich enough”,”yichusdig enough” -fill in the blank_____________.
The shidduch parsha is a tough one belive me I know.However you can’t give up hope.You have to do your Hishtadlus but at the end of the day it’s all in Hashem’s hands.There have been moments were I felt like packing my bags and going to an island where nobody knows me.There are times where I have had it.Shidduchim can be very fustrating.
However you have to remember that it is not Lakewood,or a Swiss Bank account, or any shadchanim that are going to guarantee you/get you your zivug it is Hashem.Hashem dosen’t take a two vacation to Florida, Eretz Yisroel ect…He is there for you 24/7.Shidduchim is like crossing Kriyas Yam suf.Some people have longer paths to take and others have shorter ones.I hope that all those that are still wating by the water banks that your sea voyage is a really short one!