Itzik…. unfortunatly, many people find these things real and “musts”.
I have heard that people will not use colored tablecloths or plastic on them and they wont have their daughters/sons marry into families that do.
What is the problem with today’s world? Many people really do look for these things, but when not in the market or have a child in the market they criticize those who do want these things. People are hipocritical. When looking for a chosun/kallah- remember a basic rule that I think should be asked before rejecting outright (before the first date)-Is there anything major that should prevent the couple from living a Torah lifestyle and having a happy marriage? cooking styles or size of hat brim really do not make a difference in the end, IY”H 30 years down the line. (ie- are they from the same basic spot on the hashkafa spectrum and i do not mean exact same but if they are around the same area- that is whats important.)
One question tho… please explain , “definitely does not matter if he is involved in stuff that could land him a 10 year shteler as the rosh koilel at Otisville.” is that a prison?