Chazal say that he who cries over the churban will merit to see its rebuilding. We did move on, in a sense that we all can eat meat and drink wine, and only have to leave a square amah in our houses unpainted instead of the whole thing. But still, when it comes to Tisha be’av, we must understand what we lost. There are those who cry over the loss of the Beis hamikdash every night – tikkun chatzos. It was the equivalent of a woman losing her husband- haysa ke’almana . A divorcee or widow moves on with her life, but she still feels the loss keenly. This is the way we feel with the loss of the Beis Hamikdash and our unique kesher with Hashem. It was for the best, and it was necessary, but it’s not to be celebrated. If your life is saved through an amputation, you move on but you still notice the lack of limb. Ultimately, we will be able to fully see the good. Ultimately, we will make a hatov vehameitiv when someone dies instead of a baruch dayan emes. But for now, we are limited by our humanity, and we must function based on it. Again, we must function, and being an eved Hashem requires simchas hachaim, but once a year is the appropriate time to realize the loss. Crying is also healthy in the appropriate time.
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