Through my work with the Chevra Kadisha we have had shiurim on all these issues and I can tell you that one may not listen to music on Lag B’omer if one is an Ovol.
Tzippi you are correct an Ovol may not go to a wedding either.
An Ovol is an Ovol.
Feivel you use the word Heter. Whilst I would never, ever, ever Chus V’shulem tell any Ovol what to do or what is right or wrong and yes I have been there and more than once, I would like to add an addendum here and forgive me if I am out of turn, who would want to look for a Heter for any occasion or anything when Hashem has given us such a special opportunity of one whole year to observe extra special Kibbud Ov V’aim a time that we will never have again.
May Hashem give strength to all Aveilim throughout their hard, dark days.