Anothr factor helping out in the chassidish world is that a husband and wife are not expected to be soulmates. She’s the mommy, he’s the tatty. He hangs with his chevra, she hangs with her chevra. It’s a much different relationship. In the olden days, women were married off to men who could support then. There was no “soulmate” idea either. It was understood that she was your “bashert”, and that there was no doing better. I’m sure they grew to love each other though. In today’s day, people want soulmates. It’s true that for hundreds of years, people didn’t date this way. it’s also true that for hundreds of years, only the yechidei segula learned Torah instead of working after marriage, and the women didn’t get educated more than a Tze’ena U’re’ena. And it’s also true that for hundreds of years Jews lived in small shtetels with a very limited pool of candidates. Any girl you wanted to marry would be well-known by many people.
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