SJS, not necessarily. But if there are an equal number of men & women, then this man’s four marriages means that 3 other men will not be able to marry at all, and won’t have the stabilizing influence of wives/ children in their lives.
But if we go with the assumption that they are marrying down a generation, and you assume that each man has 4-6 daughters…then if he marries 3, there are still others available. This only works if they marry the next generation though.
I just don’t understand what has changed from the time when multiple wives were allowed to now. Are women different? Did they not care that their husbands spent different nights in another woman’s tent? Did women only depend on the husband financially and not emotionally?
Times were a lot different then. Survival was much harder. There wasnt really any time to relax. The men were out farming and the women were cooking/cleaning/preparing. Household work was MUCH harder – they didnt buy flour in the bag. they had to prep it. They had to light fires (no gas stove!). And they had to do this every day. Having help cooking, cleaning, raising the kids…it was probably a blessing more than anything. Sure, your husband wasnt exclusive to you, but unless your husband was a rare case (like Shlomo Hamelech), he may have had 4 wives? But no, I have no desire to share my husband (though someone is welcome to share the cleaning and cooking LOL).
The wife is submissive. This is not only Jewish but natural. There can be no harmony when there are two commanders. Without this indispensable condition, the home is disordered. “Arrogance is unbecoming a woman” – Megillah 14B. For a man it is not an ornament, but for a woman it is as if she wore a mustache.
I personally disagree with this, and could never be in a marriage like this. I am an equal partner in my marriage. What that means is we discuss the situation and decide how to go (in non-halachic matters). We generally end up coming to some sort of mutual conclusion, but in the rare case we dont, and both options are viable, we go with whomever feels more passionate about the topic. It has nothing to do with arrogance – sometimes people just have a different perspective that works better. Sometimes I know better, sometimes my husband does. When my son is old enough to give mature opinions, he may have the better answer. Wisdom is not based on gender.