I think a good way to sum up a lot of the recents posts is that nowadays, marriage is more of a “luxury” than it ever used to be. Not from a Torah perspective of course, but from a practical survival perspective. Allowing multiple spouses allowed multiple women to be supported.
Women are a lot more educated and financially independent than they used to be. This makes submission harder than it used to be. I’ve spoken to rabbeim who agree that this submission, while ideal, is just not going to fly in today’s world. The current recommended compromise is the man is in charge of ruchnius, the woman in charge of gashmius.