to lkwdfellow: I have no doubt that AZ’s heart is in the right place. But I really, really want an answer to my girls-in-the-freezer question. Especially since – hold on, gang, I’m about to get this back on track – I’m just imagining all these bitter, jaded, freshly defrosted 22 year olds who will redefine freezer burnt and frustration over not having been able to get on with their lives. They’ll just be so thrilled to enter the wild world of shidduchim. This can’t be a grass roots effort with people deciding to “do the right thing for the klal” unless EVERYONE’S on board, and that can’t happen without some massive, united takana of the kind we saw in far earlier eras.
How about focusing on some of the issues in shidduchim, like our boys not being resourceful enough to stand on their own two feet to handle the responsibilities of their kesubos? I realize that we need more Torah than ever but parents are spread so much more thinly than ever. Hello, there are parents of younger children who still need to pay their tuition, camp, etc.
But wait, I have a solution! The boys will only marry YOUNGER children so the parents won’t have any other obligations. No, that won’t work, I’ve actually heard of boys who WON’T marry younger children because they’re worried the parents will be too old to take on their responsibilities.
Ok, another solution. These 22 year old girls will now have the time and freedom to devote to getting their degrees and some job experience. But what about girls who WANT to stay home, or at least not have the burden totally on them so they will have menuchas hanefesh for their kids? There used to be quality boys out there for them. I’d like to think there still are, and that the working boys aren’t totally disenfranchised.
So you see, AZ, I think you’re dealing with a particular demographic that has a LOT more problems. I want a future generation of families with shalom bayis, and we’re not raising them, or guiding them through shidduchim all that well, from what I’ve seen.