Havesomeseichel, the divorce rate is not climbing because people are getting married younger. The divorce rate is climbing primarily because it is more acceptable to be divorced now than 15 or 20 years ago. There were plenty of people trapped in bad marriages who didn’t want to leave because of the stigma.
The question is really how do we prepare men and women for marriage better?
In my opinion, these are some important things that men/women should do before dating for marriage:
1) Have a career plan. Figure out how you are going to support your family and get started on that goal. That doesnt mean having your MBA before dating, just that you should know what career you are aiming for and how you are going to get there. In this day and age, its important for BOTH parties to have a plan. Single income families are rare nowadays.
2) Know basic economics. Know how to take care of basic finances. Learn that if you only have $20, you shouldn’t be spending $30 or spending the $20 on something foolish. Learn how much groceries generally cost, what electricity, rent, car insurance and other basic expenses cost.
3) Understand that marriage is a committment that takes time and effort. Understand that some nights you want to come home and ignore the world, but you will still have a spouse there who needs love and attention.
4) Understand that marriage takes compromise.
5) Learn what YOU want out of life, not what your parents, family, friends expect you to have in life. Make sure this falls within the bounds of halacha and then choose your own path. When you get married, your parents no longer “control” you (for lack of a better term – good parents never really attempt to control their kids).
6) Don’t get married to escape your family (sadly, I know quite a few cases of this. Some work out, some end up with 4 kids under six and divorced at 28).
OK, I’m kind of veering off into a rant so I’ll stop.