“Rumors of anonymous “talmidim and family members” do NOT count as a source.”
I think that is an uncalled for remark. If the family members are ehrliche talmidei chachamim and rabbanim to boot, that is a little insulting on your part. Rabbanim certainly do count as a source for their families’ religious upbringing and hashkafa, particularly since they are their poskim. It is clear that there is still something that is not being understood here, regarding the workings of the older stoves, as entire communities in New York’s five boroughs followed a different shitta than the one which you present. So obviously there was a good reason that their rabbonim felt it was permitted then. My son’s friend asked his rebbie about this, specifically on my behalf, and he said, “M’ikkar hadin, it is 100% muttar, but most people DO NOT DO IT THIS WAY TODAY.” (emphasis is mine, and this is his direct quote). The reason for this being that because all stoves are made differently for the last 20-30 years, people might mistakenly believe that you are mav-ir (igniting) the fire with an electric ignition, and that pesky old Morris Ayin will be around.
Maybe what you could be asking about is not what you understand to be the halacha based on your sources (all excellent, and I am truly happy that so much Torah has been discussed as a direct result of this issue), but rather, what was done in previous generations and why it was acceptable then? Then ask yourself, if it was acceptable to substantial numbers of ehrliche frum people and the EXACT conditions still remain in a given household, what would make what was muttar then, assur now? I am still waiting for my present rov to come home, so I can ask him this shailah, and if he tells me I have been doing something wrong (which I am still hearing is not the case), then I will have to adjust my thinking on this matter and do things differently from now on.