That’s a tough one. I have a different view on this subject because of something a friend of mine experienced with her son. He had a number of shidduchim redt to him (he’s married now, so it’s not a loss), and there was a girl his mother especially wanted him to meet. But she was nbeing redt to another boy, who had not said yes at that point and she was waiting to hear from the shadchan that the family was maskim. (She did not hear back from him for over a month). The girl would not move forward on another shidduch, even though she was not getting a call back on the first boy (and that is where many people and I differ in our feelings about this process – I would not wait to hear from that first boy if another shidduch was presented who was ready to go out). Consequently, the boy was redt another shidduch, he went out with her, and that is the girl he married. So obviously she was his basherte, and B”H everything worked out for him. But that first girl was kicking herself, because a) the boy she was waiting to hear from ultimately did not accept to meet her and b) she heard what a great guy my friend’s son is, and lost out on the opportunity to meet him.
I wish I knew a solution for this problem. Ultimately we all know Hashem fiers the world, and it is His ratzon that prevails, but who knows what might have happened had the girl been willing to hear about the shidduch that “got away.” She is unfortunately not married yet, and this happened two years ago.
I still believe that one should at least consider every shidduch that is presented and not refuse to hear about it (As happens often), just because it is one on a longer list. JMO.