Reply To: Multiple Shidduch Offers

Actually, Tzippi, I’m the mother of the boy. Here (EY) the accepted thing is to redt the shidduch to the boy first. Personally, I would prefer the other way round, but

someone mentioned something about the girl getting to do the refusing.

The situation you mentioned in your last post is the scenario I was thinking of.

Surely in a system where people say yes, then go on to checking into other offers, this may well happen. But like in Oomis’ example, if you wait for each offer to pan out, you’re going to waste a lot of time. I’m trying to imagine how these poor guys

manage to concentrate on their learning when all this is going on. In our case, our son is very involved as a lot of the offers come through his friends. The situation is created because a shidduch is suggested to him with minimal details, if he expresses interest they go to the girl, get her initial approval and further details, references etc., without regard to how many offers she currently has on the perek, as long as she is not actually going out with someone (at the moment they enquire:-) she’s considered “free”