“Dating has to be done in a somewhat selfish manner (at least to start with). “
Surprisingly, this is a very good point. Being selfish is not always a negative concept. When dating, one really has to assess what he or she needs for him or her self. Building on a relationship in when two people who start out as self-oriented (nice word than selfish)individuals, learn together how to care for each other’s needs. When the other person’s needs are as choshuv to the girl or boy as their own needs, they are able to make the commitment necessary for a marital relationship.