no pressure, moish. You do what you feel you’re ready to do. You were the one who said that you so badly wanted to daven and our (at least my) intention was only to guide you in something that you were asking about. No one can push you into doing something you don’t want to do or being someone you’re not ready to be. When you want, you will do, when you’re ready, you will be. It is totally and completely in your hands, ONLY!
As far as being “only 16,” as you say, I don’t know if you realize it, in the cr, you show that you have a depth and maturity way beyond a 16 yr old.
It sounds like you’re really struggling right now, I’m not sure with what. I wish I would be able to help you, I just really have no idea what’s going on. Although I have no clue who you are, I care very much about you and I daven for you every, single day. I hope that you will emerge from your struggles a stronger and better person. You really can’t imagine how much I care about you. I know there’s not much I can do for you in this forum, whenever you’re ready to talk, though, I am always here to listen.
moish, I wish you all the best. I’m rooting for you!
~a~