I’m really sorry, moish. I didn’t intend to make you feel guilty, and no, I’ve NEVER been told that before. I have a sneaking suspicion that you will not take anything I say sitting down and I’m not here to argue with you (although if you like, I’m available for that, too.)
This is basically everything that I’ve said since last night in a nutshell:
a) Making davening meaningful to you begins with having a relationship with God.
b) Only you decide what you’re ready to do and when.
c) God understands your struggles and only asks that you do your best, nothing more.
d) If you do NOT always know in what way you’re being tested, you cannot feel like a failure.
e) You are fully respnsible for every single action that you do.
I truly care about you, moish, and I have no intentions of sending you on a guilt trip, (I’m not even sure which part is making you feel guilty.) Again, I have no idea what you’ve been through and I really can’t judge you, but God knows and He takes it into consideration. Every person is judged on his own scale. God does not measure people up to others, only to him/herself.
People aren’t perfect and God is well aware of that. Our job in life is not to be perfect, our job is to try.
I sincerely apologize for anything I’ve said that may have hurt you in any way.
~a~