If it’s going to hurt you if the Rav misses it, you can surely tell him beforehand what you would like to honor him with if he attends. He might still say no, it is his right. But maybe that which you mentioned is in itself a slight to his kovod; the fact that you’ve invited other rabbonim who will effectively shunt this Rav to the side. Is he the Rav or is he your buddy?
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