There are many variables in making a chasuna and it’s not fair to generalize. To start, the halacha is; what you do for one child, you must do for the other, unless of course the child is mature enough to be mochel b’lev shalom.
Also, Joseph, let’s say your daughter is matched with a top masmid, everything you also dreamed about, and his parents insist on you making a chasuna in the Grand Prospect for hundreds of people, everything they always dreamed about. Are you going to break the shidduch or sour the relationship over this condition? Tough call, but it happens in various degrees every day.
Remember, a chasuna is not an upsherin or Bar Mitzva where only you call the shots; there may be a minimum of six very important people with ideas that differ from one another on what is important at a chasuna.
Having said that, the Jewish community should take their heads out of the sand and realize that the divorce rate is climbing every year and it’s very likely that the chasuna you’re making won’t last the duration.
A chasuna is over after several hours and one should not mortgage their lives for it.
When funerals became very pricey, Chazal said the cost of dying is more than the cost of living and made a “lo plug”: everyone must make the lowest costing funeral, no exceptions. I think it’s mandatory that our Chazal must get together to make a “lo plug” with teeth in it. We should outdo each other in making chasunas as inexpensive as possible starting with the rich and Rabbanim; no one will feel pressured to outdo them.