Reply To: Tznius

SJSinNYC: NY Mom, do you ever speak lashon hara? That’s picking and choosing. Everyone picks and chooses, from all spectrums.

I’m not denying that MO people sometimes pick and choose what halacha they follow. I’m just explaining its not a MO thing.

Your point is well taken. Although, I would not have chosen that example as it is not exactly analogous. Lashon hara is acknowledged by all to be a bad thing, and when we speak it, we do it out of weakness. We are giving in to our yetzer hara and speaking words that we know are wrong. (Unless, of course, the person “chooses” not to care about L”H!) However, when someone decides not to cover her hair when she is married, she is b’shitah saying to the world “I do not cover my hair and that is OK”. She doesn’t acknowledge that she is doing wrong.

However, you are right that all people pick and choose their own derech.

But I will also say that there is a difference between people who choose one halachically acceptable shitah over another and people who just do as they wish. For example, if someone decides not to be machmir in chalav Yisroel, he has what to rely on, halachically speaking. But if someone decides to go mixed swimming, do you think that they are relying on a psak halacha by their LOR?