Tzippi: If boys only went and stayed in EY as long as their learning was productive and not because of the system/”what the oilam does”; then we would have many many more boys starting to date slightly earlier. This is one of the worst kept secrets in the yeshiva oilam, the boys know it and the rebbeim know BUT change is never easy and usually takes time.
It’s a shame that this process of change is costing many girls their chance, but we can’t force change….
Justin: I’m just wondering how in the world u would know who your by basherte is? For the record the Arizal writes that bas ploni l’ploni is only true till a boy is 18. (not that I have any interest in debating the irrelevant (for the purposes of our discussin) haskafa issue of bas ploni l’ploni)