I think it is crucial for you to have a woman mentor, and a Rov you can speak to. Your mother is very emotionally invested, and it seems to cloud her ability to be able to face shidduchim without worrying. That can get in the way of making level headed decisions, and be supportive to you and your needs. Speaking to a Rov and mentor is not loshon hora when you are going for hadrocha. They can also help you with the way you communicate with your mother so that maybe it will balance the mood and you’ll be able to make good decisions, and reach out to other people who will understand you and help you in this parsha.
I strongly suggest you network with people that are going to understand you and what you are looking for. It can lead to burnout if you keep going to people who are not going to take the time to understand what it is you are truly looking for.
Much hatzlocha-and as others have said, keep davening to the Ribono Shel Olam-He the One that is mizaveg zivugim all day, and knows what it is you truly need.