“At the same time my daughter doesnt want to handle any of this on her own..it just confuses her.and some shadchanim are so overbearing…
And yes, I had to deal with my own ‘dirty work’
Its a new world…. “
You and your daughter should always do what works well for you (and may she find her right zivug soon, B”EH). Not referring to your daughter, but if a girl cannot handle any of this on her own and gets confused by the process, then how will she ever be able to make decisions about how to raise her children, what advice to listen to from her parents, friends, in-laws, etc.? There will always be overbearing people in her life, so overbearing shadchanim are good experience for her to learn to assert herself.
You’re right – it IS a new world which is harkening back to the OLD world, a world which is the result of people who seem to have stopped taking responsibility for thinking, for doing, and for the consequences of their actions. Whether it is in religious observance or social interaction (and there is much overlap), ultimately we have to be responsible human beings who do not give our lives over to someone else to live them for us. If a girl wanted to apply for a job or ask for a raise at work, would she ask her Mommy to do it for her?