I think a lot of kids don’t realize it’s not an either or proposition, it’s a now and later one. That is, now he’s in kollel, later he may well work. We don’t do anyone a service by debating it because it’s inevitable that in making the positive argument for one side, negatives will come out about the other. Why not consider them both viable options? As much as we rejoice in the rebuilding of Torah after the churban, we have not failed in our chinuch if a boy chooses not to go into full time learning, and if a girl finds such a boy appealing. We’ve only failed if the boy doesn’t have some positive and consistent serious learning in his life.
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