oomis1105, many bochurim wind up taking the lstats even though they never went to college. Gemarah learning is an amazing training ground for Law. Somehow talmidei chachamim who are totally immersed in Gemarah find Law school fairly easy in comparison to Gemarah and do very well.
The idea is also that they have a plan up front. So a young man might start preparing himself a year or two before he actually switches positions by taking courses along with his learning either on-line or in person. The idea is to be responsible and not hefker about it. WE can all understand that no one knows how soon a couple will have children or how many. WE can all understand that things don’t always go according to our wishes or plans. But that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be discussed and worked on. For instance, saying that I want to learn for 7 years might not be possible. What if they have 6 kids in 7 years? What if the parents each have to make 4 more chasunahs in those 7 years and have to support 4 more couples? What if c”v there is a financial downturn? On the other hand, what if c”v there are no children or only one child and the husband has the opportunity to continue learning and the wife wants him to, should he then say “NO, our agreement was for 7 years and therefore I must stop?”
People are so foolish in shidduchim and they ask for and demand things that are not always in their control to promise and agree to. We have been trained in the past 2 decades to look for the wrong things. We are ruining our children’s lives. Look at the results of what we have caused? Divorce, dysfunctional families, shiddch crisis and poverty to the utmost levels. People need to refuse to buy into these concepts and ideas and take a stand for common sense.