AZOI.IS: I’m about 5’9″ and I don’t have a weight problem. I’m not MO, I have a full time job and I’m not looking for a girl to support me so I guess I do have a “unique personality”. I don’t think there’s anything about me that’s hard to fit and frankly if there is that wouldn’t say much about our shidduch system. I will probably not deal with that shadchan again but that experience also makes me reluctant to deal with another shadchan.
I know that many shidduchim only happened b/c of some coercion in the beginning but I think it’s usually in a case where someone says something like “i don’t want to go out right now” or “not with a girl from brooklyn” or something stupid like that. The problem in my case is more difficult than that, I didn’t ask for a picture and the shadchan didn’t provide one but I ended up seeing a picture of her and I would be embarrassed to walk in public with this girl. I usually ignore the pictures b/c you can’t always tell much from them but in this case there’s no way it’s just a bad picture. Of course I can’t tell that to the shadchan b/c he’s too close to her and it wouldn’t be nice anyway. Even if I could say what the problem was I know that I’d be made to feel like I’m doing something wrong, being too picky or shallow, which is not true about me at all. It’s very frustrating, especially when all I hear is how easy it is for the guys.