WOW!! Good stuff here….however, i honestly didnt read most of the posts. A couple pf observations.
1. Boys who are sitting and learning in Yeshia until 22-24 are not ready to date. They don’t have any idea what the responsibilities that will come with marriage. The Yeshivos, somewhere along the way (11th/12th grade perhaps) should start explaining to them what is expected of a husband (and I am a husband who knew nothing 20+ years ago). Being sheltered in Yeshiva for 20 years and suddenly to start dating in the hopes of getting married quickly is alot of pressure for any boy.
2. Girls who want “the best boy” and think they can support AND raise a family is unrealistic to most (those with $$$ are the exception….for the rest it is a struggle). While idealogically I understand why one would want such a lifestyle, today it just seems that more and more young families are setting themseleves up for failure.
3. Parents need to set realistic expectations for THEMSELVES and understand what they want may not be what their son/daughter wants. If a shidduch sounds good, let them go out. If it is B’shert it will happen, if not, not. But for parents to influence the dating process based on their own desires is wrong.