When I being a “baal Teshuvah” went to shadchannim I had one main
quality I was looking for, that that was a girl who wanted to be careful about Loshon Hara, not someone who wanted to know the “latest juicy gossip” but who wanted to focus on building a family based on Torah and Mitzvohs.
I was told by the shadchanim that such a girl (even though she may have been in yeshivah only a few months)deserved a boy who had been in yeshivah for 10 years or more.
It did not matter they said, that the boy was interested in being careful about such things.
All that mattered was the number of years, he spent in yeshivah.
So a guy with lousy midos would be pared with a girl with excellent midos just because of how long he had spent in yeshivah.
Such attitudes destroyed my chances of finding a good shidduch for me and in my opinion the blood of all those of my descendents who will now never be born, is on the hands of those shadchanim and those who think like them.