HAifagirl, I finally realize what you responded to that you quoted from me – – you in no way offended me qith your answer. I commend you for your approach, and you are correct that when we cry it should be for the tzaar that other people experience (AS WELL AS OUR OWN). Maybe when HAshem sees us crying for someone else, HE cheshbon’s our own sorrows with even more rachmanus for us. But I can only tell you from my own experience and that of my friends whose children are not yet married, believe me we are crying, crying for the sorrow our children undergo when all their friends (for whom they are genuinely happy) are getting married around them, for the countless thoughtless and stupid remarks people make to unmarried slightly older girls at simchas, and for the arms that are aching to bentsch licht at their own Shabbos table seated with their husbands, as well as hold children. And let us not forget those not-yet grandparents-waiting-to-be who hurt for the grandchildren they are not yet zoche to see. Don’t think for one second they are not crying also.
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