“Dealing with a shadchan is a benefit.”
Sometimes it is and sometimes it’s not. The shaddchan who actually makes a single person feel valued and gives them the time of day seems to be pretty rare. I have met a few good ones so I haven’t given up on them completely.
“If you are worried about people knowing you are using these websites, perhaps you should realize that you are worried as such since there is something untowardly about using them. Otherwise you wouldn’t be worried about people knowing you are engaged in this type of activity. “
100% wrong. The reason I don’t want other people to know is that THEY may be judgmental and mean. I think you’ve done a fair job illustrating that. My Rav actually suggested that I use one of these sites.