I am very VERY old-fashioned, Volvie, and I believe ideally a woman should stay home and do the job for which Hashem created us, which is to raised the next generation of frum kids (she, and not her nanny or housekeeper, no matter how good they are with kids). I do not apologize for my belief in this regard. I raised five terrific kids (so I am told they are, and quite frequently), and together with my husband I believe we instilled the right values and middos in them. Not one single child of mine grew up to be self-serving, “es kumpt tzu mir” types, or off the derech, but rather are baalei chessed, genuinely caring, kind-hearted, and loving, devoted to their family and friends, and people with whom I enjoy spending my time.
While I do not feel this is not also possible in a home where the mother works outside, I have seen a great deal of neglectful behavior in those circumstances, children who call their maids “mommy,” and kids who are not watched properly and run wild wherever they go. I cannot believe this is what Hashem wants of us in the final an analysis. And no, I am not sufficiently financially comfortable (SO FAR FROM THAT), that I could afford to stay home. My husband and I made that decision for the benefit of our children, while they were in their formative years and until all were in school full-time. I then took flexible part-time work both a few hours by day and a few hours at night (when my husband was home), so as to be an available parent. Not every woman can do so in the present economically-challenging times in which we find ourselves, but I have been talking about an ideal situation, after all.