Ok, one may use the shochad argument re any time a shadchan completes a shidduch and the couple gets engaged, but it’s a lot easier to finagle a third date, even when it is clear that it shouldn’t happen. I still stand by it.
And MOST PEOPLE CAN’T AFFORD IT. I can’t see my tuition committee saying, oh, we need more assistance since we have to cheshbon a possible thousand dollars or more in miscellaneous shadchan fees.
Hachnasas kalla is a different story.
And please don’t accuse me, or like-minded people of being chazirim.