I would want a man for a son who follows the Halachah, with proper Derech Eretz. What is the Halachah in your scenario? I suspect it is to help her. But if it’s not, it’s not.
How the readers of the new york times would consider my actions is not my concern (unless the issue of Chillul Hashem is a factor in a particular case.) What we consider “nice” behavior based on the liberal american air we breath is not how we guide our actions. We guide them based solely on what HaKodeshBorchu desires and has commanded us to do.
That is why we are a separate People, a Holy people, the children of Hashem, His Avodim.
What is the Halachah?