“As a note, if you only eat Cholov Yisroel you cannot give someone else (who is Jewish) non-Cholov Yisroel.”
Why not? It is not unkosher. If you give it to someone who does eat cholov stam, why should there be any problem? It certainly IS baal tashchis to throw perfectly good food away. Where is it written that you may not get hano-ah from it by giving it to someone who MAY eat it? Source, please.
Health, you are also quite right – people say really stupid things when they pay a shiva call. The most offensive things were said to me and also to my sister when we sat shiva for my dad and my mom O”H, respectively. I won’t repeat it again, as I already posted this once, but the two comments were extremely insulting and hurtful, and uttered by longtime friends of the family, people who should have known better than to make embarrassing comments to aveilim.
Esther, one can only hope that you were made stronger in the zechus of what you had to endure, both by these foolish remarks and by the actual treatment you underwent. May your refuah be complete in every way, and may you enjoy only good health and much simcha ad meah v’esrim shana. Then put on a good pair of headphones and tune the insensitive clods out.