1) Does it have a candyman? (2 points) A backup candyman? (1 point)
3) Is the Aron Hakodesh made from a safe that is more secure than Fort Knox? (3 points) less secure than Fort Knox? (minus 1 point)
4) Would Shimshon HaGibor have difficulty doing hagboh on the second sefer Torah? (2 points)
5) Do the lights turn off in the middle of Musaf at least three times a year? (1 point)
6) Is there a Kiddush after davening at least once a month? (2 points) With kugel? (1 point) And cholent? (2 points) Fleishig cholent? (5 points)
7) Is there at least one hoisofa each week by laining? (1 point) More than 4 hoisofas? (minus 3 points)
8) Are there signs posted throughout the shul requesting that you return your sefer to its place after usage? (1 point) Are there unreturned seforim piled on the tables below those signs? (1 point)
9) Are at least 5% of the siddurim missing a key page of davening? (1 point) In the middle of Shemona Esrai? (2 points)
10) Is there an average of at least one tzedaka pamphlet per table? (1 point) Divrei Torah? (2 points) In Hebrew? (2 points)
11) Is there at least one London Fog raincoat that has been in the coatroom since Rosh Hashona? (1 point) And a hat? (1 point)
12) By an afruf, are the pekalach thrown at the chosson? (0 points) or at the gabai? (2 points)
Scores:
[shaincoat], in which case you must walk to your regular shul).
Choose wisely!
(if this is inappropriate or insulting to anyone please remove it)