Jewish girl and qa:
I believe that an orthodox Rav will NOT advise someone who observes Kashrus to eat treif in his parents’ home because, according to Halocha, one may (respectfully) disobey parents if they tell him to violate Halocha.
As SJS, yita, and anon (thank you!) pointed out, while Kashrus observance is black-and-white Halocha, there are gray areas (stringencies) within this realm, such as Cholov Yisroel. It is NOT “either kosher or not”; rather, we follow the p’sak of our Rav, who maintains that while Cholov Yisroel is the preferable option, Kibbud Av V’aim is actual Halocha and thus overrides Cholov Yisroel.
“i dont get those familys who only eat cholov stam outside the house so everythings ok as long as its not in the house? its the wrong hashkofos.”
Neither do I! We keep Cholov Yisroel unless there is a possibility of violating Halocha by doing so. I should mention that my husband usually manages to avoid eating Cholov Stam at his parents, but if his mother cooked something containing it, he eats it. However, he allows the children and me to eat the ice cream and yogurts, as per the p’sak of our Rav.
What does this teach our children?
That we follow the p’sak of our Rav. In this case, we understand the reason: Kibbud Av V’aim (Halocha) overrides Cholov Yisroel (Chumra).