OOMIS 1105 WROTE: “Does anyone really think it is polite to invite someone to get dressed for a simcha, come all the way down for the K”P and chuppah, then GO HOME (not invited to dinner, obviously) and RETURN HOURS LATER to dance the second round of dancing???????????”
I’m sorry to say, you TOTALY missed the point! The reason people write the KB time and then the “simchas choson v’kala time” (for those they’re not able to invite for the whole affair) is to make it EASIER for the person invited. It means that he has the option to choose between attending the KP and chupah or to come later for the simchas CK, dancing etc. it was not meant to make them come early and then go home and then come back again, (unless they want to).
Another point: The main problem in this whole issue seems to be one of selfishness and getting all offended about “why was I not invited for the meal” etc.
When people are really friends and thier intentions are truly for the purpose of sharing in someones simcha they understand that the people making the wedding can’t invite everyone for the meal but still feel that they would like to have you share thier simcha with them, so they invite you for the chuppa or the dancing whichever is MORE CONVENIENT FOR YOU, and hopefully they too will understand that if for whatever reason it is that you are only able to stay for a short time, they WILL NOT BE OFFENDED and will appreciate that you made the effort to come and take part in thier simcha.
I think we should cut out all the childish selfish games of “He didn’t invite me I’m not inviting him, he didnt come to mine I’m not going to his” etc. and just try to understand each others situations and act accordingly.
We should all have only simchas always!