Reply To: College – Appropriate or not?

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I am going to go back to the original question even though this whole discussion is very interesting.

Parents of “boys to men” are obligated to train them to make a parnasah. This is their obligation in order for these future husbands and fathers to support their own families. Furthermore, when they do get married, they are committing themselves in their “Kesuba” to support their wives in the way and manner they are accustomed to. This is based on the fact that it is quoted in the Gemara that it is a “mitzvah” to be mepharnes one’s own family.

So the parent “forcing” their son to go to college is a decision a parent makes because they feel it is the best thing for their child and/or their family/financial situation and that is the only way one can look at it. It is not up to anyone else to question it. However, if one wants to ask whether “they” should go to college all this discussion is very helpful and interesting.

The clarity in which it was explained the difference of taking tzedaka or rather giving tzedaka for aniyim or giving tzedaka to support learning is very important. So much so because today, we are almost forced to give tzedaka especially for E”Y because the children of these kollel families are starving and living in poverty, etc. Now this bears a true discussion, which someone did ask in conjunction with the decision to learn only and not work. If one decides to take it upon themselves to live the kollel life and not bring in parnassa rather depend on others to support their learning and will suffer whatever it takes to continue learning, do they have the right to force their children to do the same? Money sent to the yeshiva is supporting the learning. Money sent to the neighborhood is supporting the children. So then is tzedaka supporting his learning?