“Also, why does everyone think tichels and snoods equal ugliness? I have a great collection of tichels and snoods, and my friends always compliment me on them, and I feel good about how I dress”
And that is a very compelling reason for you NOT to wear them, according to the opinion of some of the poskim (not my own feeling, however) – as apparently they are attractive headgear. See, that’s the inyan – it really is not the good looks or lack thereof, I think. In my opinion, it’s how a woman acts when thus attired. A woman who is tzniusdig in her personal actions, will give off that vibe. A woman who is inappropriately flirtatious could be wearing a shmatta on her head, and she will likewise give off a specific vibe. The type of man who reacts inappropriately, will do so because HE has the problem. If he behaves or speaks in an unbecoming way around a married woman, then HE, not she, is at fault, unless she is likewise acting in such a manner. Blaming frum women for looking attractive in a pretty sheitel (when there are so many other ways that she could look equally pretty), is like l’havdil blaming a rape victim who must have been “asking for it,” when clearly it is the violence of the perpetrator and not the looks of the woman, that drives him to commit this aveira. Let the Rabbonim instruct men on their own behavioral shortcomings, instead of unfairly always placing the burden on frum sheitel-wearing women, most of whom ARE tzniusdig, from what I have observed in my own non-Lakewood, non-Monsey and non-Brooklyn community.