The SJS, the FACT is, that boys’ lifestyles change when they turn 13 and the reason for the bar mitzvah celebration is that they should be excited for those changes.
Girls lifestyles do NOT change. It is an INNER change, a change in their penimius and girls do understand that when their upbringing is not focused so much on what each gender gets or doesn’t get. In my community, it is totaly not an issue, and I think in most communities where there is an acceptance of each of our different roles girls don’t even think twice about this.
I’m sorry if I’m being blunt, but thinking in terms of if boys get this then girls have to as well, if boys can do this then girls can as well, leads us down the path of women Rabbas.
Girls and boys are different, the way they come of age is different, what their halachic obligations are is different, and the way we go about these changes is different.
Girls, in communities where boys bar mitzvas are celebrated and not the girls bas mitzvas DO NOT feel less significent nor do they feel their role is of less importance in any way, just because boys have their bar mitzva and the girls don’t have big deal made of their bas mitzvas.