Josh31 – “According to some there is only one life cycle event that a woman is allowed to be the center of attention:
The Levayah (funeral)” “Reb Moshe was trying to end both Bar and Bat Mitzvas, he was not trying to “write” the Kallah out of the wedding like some right wingers in this coffee room are. “
Funny, I don’t recall seeing any comments saying these things. Would you mind pointing them out?
Going back a little bit:
SJSinNYC – “Its not about becoming boys – I think boys would not want to be girls and girls would not want to be boys if they really understood what it meant to each of them.
It about making a statement to girls that their coming of age isn’t significant when you throw a big bash for the boys that is not connected to the mitzvah. Their coming of age is just as significant as boys, but they have different obligations.
If you are going to throw a large party for a boy, especially when its not relating to the mitzvah you ARE sending the message to her that she is less significant. “
As you pointed out in the first paragraph of your comment, boys and girls are very different. Therefore, we cannot and should not try to make them believe that they are the same. Boys usually have to get up earlier in the morning then girls do, come home later, and have less vacation time. Does this “send them the message” that they are being treated unfairly, and that the girls have an easier life? Perhaps. But if we teach our children (as we should) that boys and girls are different, and that each one has their unique benefits, we would be much more successful than if we try to undo every “message” that each difference sends.