There are a few issues here. First of all a lot of girls today get married with the idea that ‘I don’t want a long time learner because I want to stay home with my kids!’. Well that is very nice – but in today’s world – most families need two earners.
I also know other girls – who have degrees – decide that it is better to be on govt programs because ‘the most important job I have is to be a Jewish mother and stay home with my kids’.
There has to be some responsibility when people get married. Whether you decide on Kolel or not – you can’t expect to live off of other people or the govt. It has become the norm for young couples (both Kollel and Non) to not get married legally in order to stay on their parent’s insurance plans. That is totally dishonest. If the insurance company knew that a religious ceremony had taken place – they would kick them off.
I pay full tuition for 5 children in Brooklyn kids tuition – which comes to $40,000.00. With mortgage, food, insurance and other expenses it is tough but we make do without other things. We don’t go on vacations or have 2 cars. With this economy I have not gotten a raise in a few years. Our tuition keeps going up but my husband refuses to ask for a break. He fully believes that we should sell our house before we ask the Yeshiva to take less.
As for cleaning help – I do have it twice a week because I work full time (out of the house at 8 return home at 6). It is a necessity if you work.