Sof Davar, and my point is that I don’t feel badly for boys who “HAVE” to be good learners if that is what they plan to do for a number of years or even longer. That should not be a problem for them since that is what they have been training to do all their lives, learn. IF it is a problem for them, then they should let their parents know that it is NOT what they want to do and they should look for an appropriate shiduch.
As far as the girls are concerned, MY point is that they are being overlooked even though they are “good” even “great” girls because the parents or more to the point “mother” of boys are not really looking for that, they are taking that for granted and looking for shtusim that have nothing to do with being a good wife or a good mother; and it has nothing to do with building a bais neeman b’yisroel.
Maybe if Roshei Yeshivas gave some mussar on the subject of what to look for in a shidduch; maybe if the Roshei Yeshivos gave some hadracha in what a bashert truly is; maybe if the Roshei Yeshivos prepared the boys for marriage like the seminaries are trying to prepare the girls for marriage they would have their feet more firmly planted on the ground and their dating requirements wouldn’t revolve around size, looks and financial statements.