Health, you can only be the best Jew you can be and be the best role model you can be for your kids. The kids have their own bechira and their own healing to do. With time they will learn to see the truth and will come to the understanding and seichel that only time, age and maturity can bring. The parent that blames, faults and disrespects the other parent in the eyes of the children is usually the parent that loses the children causing the children to defend and protect the other parent. It is always best to allow the children to make up their own minds and come to their own conclusions. A child needs and deserves 2 parents good or bad. It is up to the child to decide as they grow and mature if in fact either or both are either good or bad or just different or whether either, both or none are right or wrong or just different.
You will always be their father and they will always be your children and that means that you will always have the opportunity to teach them mostly by being the best role model you can be for them. So please never feel defeated and never give up.
Hatzlocha rabbah.