MW13 says:oomis1105 & fabie – Finding your soulmate is very nice, but I cannot think what the mitzva in that may be. Piru u’rivu, however, is chiyuv mi’dioraysah, and therefore I believe it is the primary purpose of marriage. “
Finding your soulmate is more than “nice.” It is a biological and spiritual imperative. While pru urvu is a chiyuv, nonetheless not all people are able to mekayeim that mitzvah and they are STILL allowed to marry each other. Childless couples R”L, do not HAVE to divorce (the husband MAY divorce his wife if he chooses, after ten years with no children – though it could be due to something wrong with him – but he does not have to). Elderly people may marry, even for the FIRST time (probably a rarity, though), when there is absolutely no chance in the present day world that they will be fruitful and multiply, nor would they want to at that age. Women who have had hysterectomies, do not have to be divorced. They continue in their marriages (assuming the marriages are good ones), and intimacy is still very much a part of life. If having children were THE reason for getting married, none of these marriages would be permissible. If a man has an accident and is no longer able to be a husband in all respects, does his wife demand a divorce? Maybe some women would, but not if they truly cared for their husbands. My father-in-law of very blessed memory, was not frum, and took care of my invalid mother-in-law for the last thirty-five years of their marriage. She was 42 when she had a devastating stroke that left her paralyzed. They had a very happy marriage, but I am certain there were some very serious changes in their life together after that. And they were both young.
Marriage is about or should be about two people making a holy life together with mutual love,respect, and love of Torah. Children, while a very important aspect of marriage today, only help to further cement the bond between husband and wife. But if the bond is not already there, the piruah and rivyah will not make that marriage good. Unlike other religions, Judaism recognizes that physicality is VERY much a part of a Torahdig life. It is part of the kesubah.