Guess you squeaked by the censors…
True, there is a question of what mitzvah one is mekayem by marriage. But why? I know a bit about Halacha – but my approach here is that is the answer to why I breath. Lomdus? Sure.
Any marriage which is a tool to be mekayem a mitzvah is a sad one. Sure, you may be makayem a mitzvah as well. But that can’t be the point. “Dearest Hechsher Mitzvah, how are you doing today?”
When R’ Akiva Eiger writes after the death of his wife, that he can nor learn nor sleep, that he can barely daven and mumble a bracha when he eats, and rejects in anger the shidduch offered to him – do you think he was mourning a mitzvah, like shemini atezeres when you leave the succah? I think he was able to dance simchas Torah.
Are you mekayem a mitzvah? Perhaps. But that ain’t the point. Listen carefully – Hashem put things in the Briah that are correct and real, before Taryag mitzvos. Taryag mitzvos are to be added to our humanity. Marriage however, is part of our humanity.
“Savara Hee, Kraa Lamah Lee” – the reality within us is just as obligatory, if not more.