Paschabachachma – I totally agree with you. I am FFB and have dated many BT (in a way I prefer it due in part to some of the reasons didu so eloquently discribed). One of the guys I dated:
– Had yichus (altho this is something I care about nor look for) traced directly back to Brisk.
– Had one whole side of his family COMPLETELY frum.
Every situation is different to make blanket statements in this area is completely foolish. At the end of the day however, I find that BT are usually more comfortable with other BT. I dont think this would hold true for children of BT and I dont know why anyone should look twice @ them for shidduchim…. Just shows how everyone has to fit the same cookie cutter mold and if you dont, you are cast to the side (BT, or not)
Frumladygit – That is truly heart breaking! I once heard a beautiful mashal about looking for a spouse if you had something “wrong” with you (I dont think your daughter has anything wrong with her, but you can relate it to her it may make her feel better) Looking for shidduchim is like making a million piece puzzle. Its always hard to find the piece that fits. But, if you are an end piece with a flat edge, you can automatically rule out so many other pieces (i.e. the shallow, in-sincere etc etc) the edges are always the easiest to find. You just have to look for the perfect fit.
Hatzlacha to all!