Wow, very intersting! I feel bad deing the first to reply, i’m sure you will get a lot of inteligant answers. Your yearning for the truth is truly comendable. (Please excuse my grammar,).
I’m sure you are a terrific girl, and i dont think you will have to compromise in the slightest bec of your background. You may click better and respect each other greater if your future spouse also comes from a similar situation. There are plenty of top notch guys that have grown past their background.
About the other issue you mentioned. I give you credit for opening up, as i’m sure its been brewing up for a while inside. However i think this is not the right forum for this. This is pretty serious and sensitive topic. You must be in touch with a good bais din. If you had one teacher from the past that you trust, I would make her promise to keep it quiet, and have her walk through the whole thing with you. It may be hard to divulge, but you will feel a huge burden off your shoulder, knowing someone is behind you. Trust me, its worth it. Others on this forum may be able to refer you to other Rabbi’s that specialize in this area. But for your own good, do not take advice from anyone(as in other bloggers,such as myself). Wishing you luck on this clarification process. It will not be as scary as you think it is.
Keep on Davening to Hashem that he should give you the strength to keep strong throughout, and i’m sure you will!!!! Hatzlacha Rabbah!!!!