Wow, what a story.
These are extraordinarily serious shailos, and need to be asked to a prominent poysek. However, if there’s really nobody you feel comfortable asking, with the mods approval we can exchange email addresses and I’ll try putting you in contact (anonymously, if you perfer) with the most prominent poysek I can get a hold of.
As for your issues with shidduchim, I believe Oorah’s Rebbitzens program offers some help in that area (although I could be wrong). Does anybody here know how to contact them?