minyangal, you have a very good point. People open up their own yeshivas for their own reasons. Some are very good ones like a new concept or placing kids others threw out. But some are just really to create an environment so they themselves can make a parnasa or to stroke their own ego. This of course adds to the burden of mortgage payments, building fund which they attach to the parents’ obligations, dinner, melave malka, etc. all in an effort to raise funds for the yeshiva but one parent might have their children in 2 to 4 different yeshivas and that is the least if you have girls and boys in both elementary and high school. If you have more than 4 kids and have various needs you can be supporting 6 or more yeshivas at a time. Each with their own demands.
I don’t think that out-of-town yeshivas experience the same problems that big cities do for these reasons. They might need to raise money for Kolel but not really to run mainstream yeshivas because they basically have one for the entire community or one for boys and one for girls. Or like the joke goes about shuls one they send to and one they don’t.
There are many chapters to this story, it is more than just to sides to the coin. But no matter which way you look at it, if you get the children involved you destroy them. Children should be left out of it as one other poster commented. If you accept the child do not involve him. If you can’t afford to accept the child do not accept that family for the next year.