Josh31 hit it on the button. You and your parents “marketed” you as a lamdan, masmid, and 10 year or long-term learner. Both the girl and her parents assumed that to be true. Then she sees you get up late to daven, text messaging shtusim when you are with her, and listening to the sports, etc. Someone feels taken here.
NO- I do not mean that the wife should hound her husband and be his mashgiach – thats looking for trouble. But the husband should show that he is serious and committed. Getting up earlier than her for that extra shiur is a nice gesture. Using Shabbos to learn (of course, rest too), and the same for bein hazmanim. The old adage of “the proof is in the pudding” applies here.
After all – thats what you represented yourself to be – only blame yourself and /or your parents if you were “migazem” a bit too much. But surely do not take it out on your wife. She is working like a super-woman beyond what she ever dreamed she would have to. Show her the respect and appreciation.